Show Dogs

Show me a dog that speaks through cartoon lips. Did it start with Babe? The next question is more to the point. Why not animate the whole thing and forget about training animals to behave like humans?

A bad movie begins with a story that has been told a thousand times. Add an off the peg script and a male lead - person, not pet - who is as funny as fly paper and a girl who has to be older, so she's a woman, as the maybe/maybe not love interest.

The main dog is Max, a Rottweiler with a badge. He is police property who works undercover for the NYPD. A priceless panda cub has been stolen and the word on the wire points to a prestigious dog show in Florida where it will handed over to an international rare breed smuggling ring.

The theft of the dolphin in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective comes to mind - Florida, simple minded plot, etc. There is a big difference, however. Ace had Jim Carrey at his brilliant best and Show has Will Arnett phoning in.

Max meets some of the pampered pooches on the dogwalk after being sidelined as a competitor. Arnott plays an FBI agent who becomes his partner, or rather Max does his own thing while pretending to be the man's go-fetch. Like the little panda laughs are missing although the panda is found and laughter isn't.

When parents watch children's TV shows they can't understand why their kids fail to pick up on the patronising presentation style. The same is true here. The film may be a dog trainer's day out but as entertainment it sucks on wood.